The Farm.

This is it, people... my new base.

In a whirlwind Buford and I left our old house right after our client left. We have spent the last 10 days or so moving our belongings from our temporary house to our new home.

I've even bought a bed in the meanwhile!! (Side note: Kinda crazy that I had to learn at 33 years old that I have slept wrong for all of my life?! From a cute guy at IKEA that "checked me out" while pretending to sleep on various beds? Was well worth it though, cause I now sleep in heaven every night. Thinking I may push a 100 if I continue good stuff like this for myself... Underbart!).

But, back to The Farm.

On the picture above (I took a photo of a photo in the older flat upstairs) you can see all the buildings that are bascially mine. Yeah, I get to be the "rent-in owner" of all of them...!

B and I live in the house on the upper right corner of the picture. The other buildings are an actual stable, a house that's being renovated (not actively, but it looks incredibly promising), quite a few sheds, and several storage places. Everything is in nice shape and beautifully aged.

There is also a swing. B gets a lot of stoke in his eyes when I use it. May try to capture that on "film" at some point for you all.

There is also endless forest that starts right behind our property.

And in the forest there are lingonberries. And moose. And bears. And trails to bike and hike and ski on. You get the picture. It's my kind of paradise.

Am planning to take some current photos of it all today.

Cannot wait to share...

In the meanwhile: Har det bra!

One healthy dog.

I only learned recently that Buford's tumor wasn't malignant. With that, B is decidedly ONE HEALTHY DOG.

We'll take it.

He continues to be a wonderful cuddler, a keen antler'n'hoof-hunter, and a surströmming smell lover.

Thanks for the support.

Finding pleasure in slow paced activities like... chewing big ass bones.

I am super busy with finalizing my business set up and the parents visiting and life happening all around.

For a quick update here some shots of the cute guy that's recovering well.

Will be back for more shortly!

Kayaking with the B.

Training on land: check!

Self-portrait: Check!

Cuteness: Check!

Back on safe ground: Check!

Sweet Saturday adventure: Check!

The Dinner Table.

Things are developping beautifully around here. Having a client brings flavor to my life. It lets me self-actualize... isn't that a wonderful kind of perfect?

Life has always been good Up North - and yet, having a youngen around that needs a couple of pushes and some guidance here and there clearly adds to it.

One of the most nourishing parts of it all is The Dinner Table. Finally I get to realize my vision of creating an environment where the day is shared and debriefed when everyone comes together in the evening to cook, eat, and to just be. I see it as a life line of sorts.

We've been making beautiful meals from scratch over the last few evenings, which I have enjoyed greatly. Thanks to him being a Swede I also improve my Swedish in the process. (I think I won the lottery without even knowing it...).

And here's another thing it does to me: When I actually sit down to eat a scrumptious meal with another person (instead of surfing the net.... ouch!), I realize that there is plenty of day left after dinner, and find myself thinking of (and realizing) fun after-dinner activities... so I have been taking both the client and B to a special spot on the lake one evening, and then just B to explore a fishing hole in a new environment and up a mountain nearby to watch the sunset (while the client did dishes...).

The beauty of it all is that at the moment I am just starting to scratch the surface of what the future that I am building is made of.

In my vision of The Dinner Table I imagined inviting people from the community and/or visitors of mine to join the goodness.... wanna be the first to do so?

Back Together.

Note: Not sure what's going on; however, I have not made it here as much as I had planned to recently. So much is certain, lots of things are happening - and lots of things should be happening (aka my to-do-list is lengthy), so in the interest of getting the juices flowing again, I'll get started by sharing B and I's reunion story.

+++

Somtime on May 2nd after three long flights, some time in between, and a couple of train rides I stumbled onto the platform at Norrköping Centralen. Backpack on, secondary bag in hand, my eyes searchingly scanning the cars and people nearby for the Lil' One. It's been 5 weeks or so.

There! I see him. He's weaving out of the parking lot, on leash, sniffing happily left and right.

He doesn't see me. Yet.

N, on the other end of his leash, spots me, waves, and comes towards me.

I make it across the driveway, and onto a little "traffic island".

I stop. Take him in. Wait.

He continues to weave, not a worry in the world.

He looks a little beefier. And, awfully cute.

I wait for him to get closer.

When he's only a couple of feet from me, I say: "Hey, Buford...".

He stops abruptely. Looks up.

And then... he explodes into my face.

I go down onto my knees. I feel his paws on my shoulders.

His tongue in my ears (he LOVES doing that).

I feel tears of joy brimming in my eyes.

We engage tail-waggingly, little-sweetness-sharingly into being fully present.

The sun dances on our faces.

I just take it in.

N stands next to us, still connected by the leash. She laughs.

I finally stumble to my feet again.

Hug N, whisper "Thank you!".

And N smiles and ... hands me his leash back.

Beautiful Belize.

Made it back to Montana a few days ago. Belize treated us wonderfully, offering many opportunity for the kid to learn that there indeed is another way to solving difficulties than pulling out the briefcase. We met inspiring individuals, took in beautiful views, and chased - somewhat unsuccessfully - the elusive wildlife.

Here some impressions:

The hanging bridge in Belize city.

My favorite shot. Dog in Placencia.

These are the kinds of views that make me happy. Porch in Placencia.

Morning shot - Placencia's beach.

Catch of the day. Placencia Point.





Loving the simple stuff. Laundry in Mango Creek.





Tigerfern Falls. In the Jaguar Reserve.

View over San Ignacio.

Market in San Ignacio.

Have I mentioned that I am working as I float? Waterhole near Macai River.

Our home at the Jaguar Reserve.

+++

Needless to say: It all went well, we made it back into the States, and... Belize is beautiful.

The first part of my gig will end tomorrow.

Then, I'm off to Oregon by Amtrak overnight, off to a whirlwind of seeing friends...

It's promising to be great:

Overnight to Portland.

Meet up with my friend A. who's spontaneously decided to fly in from Colorado.

Meet up with one to two other friends, one of which will let me borrow her VW Camper Van.

Off to Bend.

Bend.

Bend.

Bend.

Back to Portland.

Overnight to Whitefish.

Off into Glacier NP for a backpacking adventure with a new client.

Life? Is good.

Hugs!

Central America - here I come!!

Wow.

I just sealed the following deal:

Drive south, hug the Beef, leave with N & N.

Travel to US (Montana) to hug a friend and to meet teenage boy on farm.

Take boy, travel to Central America (exact location to be determined by yours truly).

Backpack for about a week, successfully reach goal of challenge (created by yours truly).

Return to Montana, do farm-y stuff with boy (also, food bank, fitness center, animal care).

Warmly welcome back friend (who owns farm) after her trip to Peru.

(Possibly take a quick trip to hug friends in Oregon).

Come back to farm, get some new client backpacking.

(Possibly take a quick trip to hug friends in Oregon) - only once though.

Return to Sweden.

Hug the Beef.

Start own business in Sweden.



Have I mentioned that life is incredible? Wow-ser.

On Fire!

Wow! Where to start?

OK, let's do this first:




You may actually want to get a cup of coffee to read this post. I have a feeling it's going to be somewhat lengthy... just saying! ;)

+++

So, things are falling into place like never before since Beefy and I laid eyes upon our new home.

You know... I haven't even really started falling in love with my car Trusty yet - mostly because soooo much other stuff is happening. Usually my life only features a couple of highlights a week. This past week... well... I am actually writing this to find out just how many good things have happened... I LOST TRACK!?! Awesomeness.

The goodness started when I last wrote... about the fireplace and stuff. Here a couple of pics to share the beauty:

See, I'm not only asking you to drink coffee... I'm leading by example!


Here a pic of my loves... (Buford, the woodpile - which is loved by Buford also, olive oil, blood oranges, "alive" basil, sunlight in my kitchen.... :)....):

So, yeah... let me go back a little. Despite Buford and I's efforts of warming the house we had the pipes freeze a couple of nights ago. The coldest night yet at -30 did it. I was able to unfreeze the ones for the kitchen within a day but am still without water in the bathroom. Showers? For losers... - Stinky? Me. (Only that I take cat showers at the kitchen sink... good thing I have no immediate neighbors). And you know what? I LOVE IT. Cause it forces me to get to know the house better. And learn. And learn I do a lot.

I also secured my weekend job in the meanwhile. Tomorrow is my first day. Ahhhh... income. My job will be to travel around the area in a team and checking vacation houses in between tourists leaving and new ones arriving. Mr. Moose said that it's an excellent way to study interior design (maybe therewith hinting that I need to do some loving to my house). We will see. I like that I get to travel about the ski town parts of my new home... and have I mentioned that I will have an income?

Additionally, I went to town (3,500 inhabitants... cute, no?) this week to meet with some officials. I wanted to see if I can get into the system more and... for example... finally get the free Swedish courses through SFI (Svenska for invandare) that I was promised almost a year ago. And a personnummer. So I can be seen as a person. And guess, what?! I was able to go through the process of applying without needing to resort to tears, fists, or any other power tool. They just took it in and said it will be taken care of. Up North, you're my hero!

I also met with Arbetsformedlingen... they don't only help people get jobs, they also support people who start their own business. Which is... ME!... in case you forgot. (I sometimes do). And I learned that I will get financial support from them as soon as I have registered my company. Not a lot, mind you, but close to what one would get as an existenzminimum - for 6 months! FREE MONEY!! For me! And just as I was typing away here I got a phone call from a lady that will help me set up my business plan and such. That service is for free here in Sweden, too. I think the door to Sweden has finally opened itself to me... :)

And - and this is probably the most exiting piece so far: I may already have my first client!!!! I have been contacted by the woman who is the lead therapist on the TV show that I was part of again (which is airing now and leads to lots of FB friending attempts by strangers, emails, and a soon to be published interview in Blick.ch by yours truly). She asked me if I could take in one of the boys she works with (in the US) for a few weeks at the end of March into April. Or if I wanted to go travel in Central America with him... The most recent development is... sit down and wait with that next sip of coffee - I may get the boy to come live with me here for 2-3 weeks [perfect opportunity for me to fine-tune my future business while playing] AND THEN BRING THE BOY BACK TO THE STATES AND STAY A LITTLE!!! Who knows what all this is going to lead to?! First and foremost to some income to yours truly again.... but also experience.... credibility here in the commune... really important networking... seeing my friend again... getting to experience her business - that looks much like what I am building towards... maybe even a mini-trip from Montana to Oregon???... OK... gotta stop dreaming and wait for reality information. But, now that you can drink coffee again... wanna also spend some time crossing your fingers for me?

Have I mentioned that Beefy has taken on the job to warm my butt while I write this? Teamwork par excellence!

What else?

It's snowing outside... a lot. I have started to park Trusty up at the road so I won't have to fret about driving up my driveway. It's a short one anyways... but, you know... I'd rather not have to be rescued more than once a day.

Becoming a redneck has never sounded this good to me... ;)

Oh, and Sweet Shoulders wants to meet up to ski with B and I on the weekend of week 12 (they ALWAYS count weeks here... wonder how they do it?!).

Oh, and I'll go to yoga for the first time on Monday. Not the first time ever... but the first time Up North. I sure hope the room will be heated well. Otherwise I'll have to bring Beefy to warm my butt while I... I'm in the triangle pose... (I bet he can pull it off somehow).



OK... all yoga-esque I'll take a deep breath now and slowly back away from the computer to let you - savor my news - and then go on with your day.

Thanks for your part in all this... and take care.

Here and Now has never been this exciting!!

Since we arrived Up North, Beefy does either this:

The little guy destroying the even littler guys - with much gusto!

Or that:

Notice how he actually ear-snuggles the radiator...
... that's a hint, for what it's been like SO FAR.


+++

Yup, Buford is either playing to stay warm... or curling up near the heat source to stay warm (at night that's me). It's cold up here... -20 degrees Celsius during the day.. and -27 degree Celsius right now. That's cold. Really cold.

The snow that's falling is microscopically small. Magical really. Crazily the cold is what keeps me from riding that stuff... am worried that Beefy will freeze to death waiting in the car for me to do some runs... or freeze off his little paws coming along... or die of worry if I leave him home alone. We just arrived after all. Plus... I kinda don't know where to go either. I'm the new kid on the block. Or... the road. Cause there aren't blocks here... that's why I moved here. :)

+++

I spent my first day here meeting with some folks from the addiction center, getting further encouragement to follow through with my plans... and then the next getting my stuff moved from the car into the house. Looking back I think I was a bit in a daze... I may still be in it, actually.

Arriving here and getting settled into "my house" is quite the trip for my mind. It means that I'm finally in the place I have dreamed of for.... ever. I'm in a place where I can start growing roots... building community... a business... a home... all of it. No more... once I am "there" I can do such and such. But: Here and Now. Period.

Scary... and exciting. Until today I was still a little hung up on some stuff... like: Not being able to use the wood stove in my house. That was a big deal to me... not knowing what it would end up costing to heat the house via radiators... (my answer to that was to turn all of them off - minus the ones in the kitchen and declare the kitchen my living zone). I also started to have worries creep back in related to income... where will it come from? To my defense I gotta say though that I dealt with those worries quite beautifully. Bought some healthy food and started my simple life right by making good meals from scratch right away... :) - can you say: fresh basil? Brussel sprouts? ---- Nice job.

Today things changed around another 180 degrees.

Mr. Moose came for a visit. On his snowmobile. Obviously... that's how he likes to travel.

And this is what he brought into my life:

- The OK to use the wood stove... and therewith making my house perfect.
- The info that the shed is full of wood. Yay!
- Warmth and comfort (see above... 10 degrees difference - now it's 20).
- My first job! Working two days a week will magically put me into a financially relaxed place...

Can you believe it?

What that all means is that my recent choices of moving Up North have led to some significant and important changes in my life...

... within the last week I have added the following elements to my life:

- A beautiful house for Beefy and I (OK, it may not be BEAUTIFUL yet...)
- A (t)rusty car :)
- A job (first one after living here for 6 months)
- Been asked to give an interview to Switzerland's biggest newspaper
- Received fan mail ;)
- Moved to a place where I can ski and snowboard
- Reached a place to realize my dreams... like... NOW
- Found new people to support my visions
- Become neighbors with three tame moose

Doesn't that FRIGGIN' ROCK??!!!! It basically means that my ballsy move already has paid off...

I think it's all thanks to the Beef... but don't tell him, otherwise he'll request more food... ;)

Finally: Up North.

This is what Buford did all day yesterday:

How can one not adore the little bugger? :)

+++

And now... ladies and gentlemen, I proudly present:

Our (new old) car... and our house Up North!!!

Can you believe the Swedish flag???

And now, if you could excuse me...: I got a house to clean and cozy up!!

Beefy Panify at his Best!

This post is dedicated to my rock.

Bliss...

Loyalty (not only to the ball).

Finding beauty.




Sincerely... wanna play some, mama?

It's a boy!!

Yes, I did...

... get a car.

Around midnight.

Clearly, it's a boy.

Bought it from a farmer's boy.


It's a Turbo... (environment, please forgive me).

But, it's offering me:

And it allows Beefy and I to move Up North.

And take care of stuff...

Like, checking on stugas on Saturdays (our first side-job Up North).

He's pretty in a subtle way, no?

He's born in 1994.

He's a Volvo 945.

Automatic.

He even has a hitch!

And we got Thule bars with it.

Just a little rust.

And lots of space.

For adventures...

Like sleep ins :)

Next up:
-Insurance shopping
-Registering him in my name
- Cleaning him, packing
- Finding a suitable name.

Wanted.... Me!!!!! :)

Dear Instincts That Guided Me Here:

Life is incredible.
Thank you for showing me a place where I can
do my part to spread what I believe in. I promise I will do
my very best.

I'll keep the Beef happy, too.

Best regards,

Marlies


+++


Yup, that's what it feels like since I arrived "Up North".

+++

There's a sweetness to the struggle I experience as I type this... I don't know where to start... so many loose ends to tuck in. Now the desire to share and describe is tugging... I guess I'll just let it flow and see what happens... :)

Snowmobiling... an odd start for a fan of human-powered adventures. And... I had such a blast yesterday "blasting" my machine through wild lands in Central Sweden... always following the track of Mr. Moose. I remember pondering the term boy-toy... does it even exist? Either way - I sincerely enjoyed getting a grip on a powerful machine, racing through snow, failing momentarily, and mostly just being completely awed by the stark beauty of the landscape that we traveled through... I already knew this and yet it was powerful to experience it up close and personal: The wild landscape that I soon get to call my home is the ideal place for a program utilizing nature as its greatest influence.

Mr. Moose with the machines...

Heart tuggins... That's what the reindeer do to me. They tug on my heartstrings. (Wait, what's a heart string?) I wanna live in a place where I happen across these guys at random several times a day (this time of year that is). Not only because B's body is shaking like an aspen leaf in a strong breeze, but also because they sweetly remind me that the world still holds a lot of magic. (Yes, I'll turn in a total cheese ball up here, that much is clear!).

Heartstrings tugger.

Ivan, Inez, and Isa. This sweet little crew is killing me. They're gorgeous, gentle, and inspiring creatures that love human company. And no, not exclusively so when one approaches with bananas or twigs (although they surely love those moments). They actually join you on walks along their fence!! Visualize: Mr. Moose, Yours Truly, Rheuben (Mr. M's huge Rhodesian Ridgeback), and Beefy walking the fence on the outside.... with Inez, Isa, and Ivan frolicking along inside. It's a rush and a blessing at the same time. Once Ivan looses his antlers one can do the same inside the fence... Once I am back here I'll spend some quality time taking real good pics of them. This time around even I was too mesmerized to take the time in doing so. Can you believe it?

While that's all exciting... here's the real stuff:

I've had the pleasure of brainstorming and networking at Mr. Moose's side for the past week. Doing so I have enjoyed incredible views, inspiring conversations, and meeting wonderful people. As of right now I am committed to do the following:

Move Up North as pronto as I can (I'll keep calling it that despite Sveg being in Central Sweden... after all it's part of Norrland... and everything North of Stockholm is considered North by any Swede).

Create a livable scenario for Buford and I for the time between now and approximately May. (* see exciting opportunities below)

Start my own business on a small scale by May. Yup, you heard it right... I am finally going to let go of the chicken that I continue to house somewhere within me and do what I do best... Stop Waiting. I got a whole community standing behind me, funding just waiting for me, and youth with desperate needs.


* Now that I am invigorated with change and hope and excitement... my creativity is flowing over. This week I had several dialogues with important community members who are eager to support me in setting up my new life up here. A couple of days ago I met a guy who's responsible to give funds to desirable business ventures who basically told me that with my kinds of skills and ideas I'll get a 30,000 USD starter donation as soon as May 2010!!! Yesterday evening I met the responsible person of the social health sector (responsible for people struggling with addictions). We clicked and she gave me a big "thumbs up" for proceeding with my plan to create a temporary home for youth. She will inquire with the people in power if the community will pay me for doing mentoring work with youth between now and May. The idea here is to get me started in earning trust within the greater community, helping youth as soon as possible (there is NOTHING for them in place.. NOTHING!!), and getting me a little island to stand on. If this works out I would be hired for a 3-month period to meet 1:1 with maybe 6 youth on a regular basis to do anything from drinking coffee to going out backpacking (according to the youths interests and needs). Obviously that would also allow me access to much needed Swedish courses and getting a more thorough understanding of the place and its opportunities and challenges. All-the-while I could focus on applying for funds for my business to be... figure out location, business-y stuff, etc.

Today, feeling quite elated after last night... I searched the net some in regards to other initial opportunities for me and found in the process that this community is basically screaming for people like me to move here. They have free business courses for people up to 35 years old... and highlight that they are particularly interested in female entrepreneurs. When checking the local Arbetsformedlingen homepage, I found that there is a project going that entices people from the EU to move here. As a German passport holder, I fall into that category as well which makes me highly desirable for the area. (Which is were I got the brain fart of creating a Wanted Sign for this blogpost... - aka: Having a dog that needs walks and too much brain juices being activated).

Being the Go Getter I currently I am, I immediately went to the Arbetsformedlingen to set up an appointment. Sounds like those guys may even give me funds to keep alive between now and then. Crazy, huh? The thing is... all of Sweden is generally set up the same way. But when I attempted to take all the steps I am currently taking here back in the south... they only had frustrating results because the area is overflowing with all kinds of immigrants and the professional environment is significantly less suited for my kinds of skills. Hence, not moving here would be suicidal. Well,... you're getting my point, right?

So, Beefy and I are shifting back to Go Getter Style living.

We're stoked.. and we will do our best to keep you posted on our progress.

Love,

Me and B