German Blues.

So... Germany is teaching me that I am crazy. You know, a little out there. That I am not the person I used to be... some decade ago, when I worked in an office and guided travel agents in their struggles with clients who wanted to travel to Latinamerica.

I think I have become a rather free spirit.

Who doesn't fit into a cubicle anymore. Luckily this statement has nothing to do with physical size... ;)

But man, do I feel out of place in city environments!! Even though people speak my native tongue here I feel misunderstood and as if I don't understand some secret code. Sooo many people and soo little human connection. Not that the Swedes are terribly social, mind you!

So, really, the trip is affirming my bigger life choices... compliments to my gut at this point... cause really, I cannot claim that my brain is my guide when deciding irrational things such as leaving the States and moving to Sweden many moons ago (ok, only about 15, but you get the point...).

Am sitting in a hostel in Cologne right now... winding down after an emotionally taxing day. Sounds like I am scoring more work days in the near future... so, it's happening.

Tomorrow I'll meet three guys I've wanted to meet for many months now. We first got in touch last winter when things were rather grim for me. Hoping to score a goal in our time together!! And hoping to make some real connection. Cause they, to me, are life-affirming. And I certainly need a little bit of that in this grey, rainy country.

Love,

Me

Front-Country Challenged.

"Hi, my name is Marlies and I think I am front-country challenged."

You know, as opposed to feeling at home in the back-country (read also: The Farm, small villages, the woods, the cliffs, being with B).

We used to talk a lot about front- versus backcountry when I still lived my life in the US. But I've never felt the difference as strongly as I do right now.

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Am sitting in the train to Stockholm's airport Arlanda. Flying to Köln in Germany tonight for a little businesstrip. It's supposed to last a work week and I am supposed to meet with different potential partners. But goodness am I rusty with all of it!!

Dress code, people paths, train silence, tickets, money, ...

Yesterday this was my world:

We got enough snow to have snow drifts. I love snow drifts.

B and I met 2 bears!!! One is visible on this pic. Hurray!

Rocks. Sky. Snow. Clouds. Simply beautiful.

This is where the hike started and ended. Love the softness.

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Today, I am focusing my energy to channel what I found yesterday in a way that I can share it with the agencies that may send youth my way in the future.

Seems logical that mother nature is my go-to-place to gather energy and courage for that... right?

Both powerful and a bit surprising to me how foreign the world I used to be part of feels to me right now.

But hey, challenges are good, right? And to know that I am in the right place to live my life is even better.

Here's to pushing the comfort zone.

"Front-country, come on - let's be friends again!"

(At least for a little while... ;)...).

Ready to Stop Waiting.

I just got to experience the most perfect day.

Mr. Moose took B and I - even further - Up North to the beautiful town of Östersund. He facilitated a meeting for me with his favorite business consultant (never mind that I have my own as well - but hey, starting a business one can never get enough support, right?!).

So, yeah... it's kinda getting official:

Yours truly is starting her own business.

I gotta say this again...

"I am starting a business."

Wow.

Needless to say... The meeting... which was going to take a close look at my finances and the doability of my business venture was a success. I totally expected for there to be a fluke somewhere, you know, something I haven't thought of yet, that was going to destroy my whole idea. But, no. None of that.

It just really sounds like all this is meant to be.

And that I am totally in the right place at the right time.

Wow.

The day continued with some amazing Sushi, lots of conversation with Mr. Moose (always a pleasure), lots of driving through amazing landscape, a visit of another moose farm (to inquire tips and tricks for the upcoming calf birthing/early days process - have I said "yay!" yet?), more conversation, spontaneous decision to have pizza in Sveg, and then - even more spontaneous decision to walk home from Sveg (while Mr. Moose drove)... only to see yet another perfect perspective of my new home (see picture above for support of my endless excitement). Plus, I LOVE it when I have an idea such as... "I could just walk home to give the B some exercise"... simple and perfect, all in one big swoop. On a bittersweet note though: Right after I shot the picture above, Mr. Moose called me to inform me that one of the pregnant moose has escaped... she's still not found. Cross your finga's for us!!

Anyways, my life has experienced some wonderful development.

I am now going to SFI (svenska för invandare) courses every morning of the work week. Offering me a community of beautiful people from places like Rwanda, Thailand, Burundi, Burma, Iraq, Polen, Japan, and more. And some Swedish knowledge on the side. ;)

I am actively getting my business going... meaning: I am in the process of writing my businessplan, have written my budget today, am in the process of getting my first client (!! - a representative of a German company that could become the "life giver" of my company is coming to visit me on 5/26 to check out my environment and discuss the possibility of working together - !!), have come up with a name, will soon capture my web presence space, and - if all goes well - will be getting the OK to get financial support from Sweden for the month of June!

I am in absulute. awe. of.... ME!

So, today is the day... that allows me to do the most powerful thing I can do in my (ad)ventures:

I will finally let go. Of... stagnance, fear, doubts.

And...

... I will Stop Waiting. You know, NOW.

Buford is on a Rabbit Trip.

Lucky little Beef-ster chased another rabbit today. We walked right up to it - once more. Split-seconds later, the two furry ones literally flew down the gravel road, slithered, skipped, slipped sideways on a bridge that was covered with some metal sheets and then ran off. Surprisingly in a strait line... and I thought rabbits did some zigzagging maneuver? Once again, Buford made it back to me under the 5 minute mark... heavily panting, with some slobber hanging of his chops, and a grin on his face. No sign of blood though. We may have to do something about his new sport, no?

I got an email back from that German dream job I wrote about. They're interested in interviewing me in person. I'll call them tomorrow and see if we can figure something out that will work for both sides. As you may have gathered I cannot afford getting myself to central Germany just for an interview. Of course I would love (LOVE) to see their main place. The guy wrote that Buford would be most welcome to be part of the experience :). The program already has two dogs, two goats, and some chicken "on staff". That sounds like our kind of place. Better make sure that Beefy doesn't chase chicken... may have to talk to him about the ways that his instinct may affect our future. I wonder too, though: Would he bring me the rabbit if he got it? He has done that with a squirrel before... If so I, I mean we, could eat rabbit for a while. Hmmmm..., I may still underestimate that canine companion of mine.

Tomorrow will be filled with phone calls all over Europe. Today I prepared by searching the net for all kinds of jobs that could fix our issues. Fascinating stuff, by the way. Next it's my turn to go on a "rabbit trip" of sorts.

PS: I trust that my entries will get less crazy once my life slows down. Bear with me in the meanwhile, will ya?