Completely, Utterly... Obsessed with "The North".

Isn't this stunning? To me this looks like a letter... :)

Yup, that's me: Helplessly fascinated with all that's harsh, cold, and stunning. In my mind also called - "The North".

Most recently my fascination led me to research the sunrise and sunset times up in Sveg (where I'll be next week, ya-ay!) compared to what's happening down here. Sounds like those 572 km make quite the difference. How can I be so excited about my daylight getting shorter in the near future?

Here's the stats:

Today's sunrise in Paradise: 8:42
Today's sunrise in Sveg: 9:20

Today's sunset in Paradise: 15:22 (may as well adapt to our way of reading the time)
Today's sunset in Sveg: 14:58

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Good times.

B and I were separated for a couple of hours for the first time in forever yesterday. Felt kind of good, actually. I think it's about time for us to not be Velcro-ed to one another every single minute of every single day. I love him even more with a little bit of time apart... :)

Gotta admit though, that I felt a bit stir-crazy a couple of days ago. It clearly becomes time for me to mingle a bit with people and get myself involved in some work somewhere.

My lil' dating streak is therefore all the more welcome. Yesterday's B and I going-separate-ways-for-a-little was related to such an activity, as was getting groceries (ha! multitasking me, huh?), having Sweet Shoulder company, and making and enjoying an incredible meal. Maybe I should add here that "Sweet Shoulders" comes from up North?? (However, twice as far up north - 1067km from my couch - as what I am visiting... this country is seriously loooooong = endless opportunities for me). Whenever he says "up north" with his Swedish accent I melt a little... --- Had to check his hometown's sunrise and sunset data (I never said I wasn't obsessed, right? Today, they were as follows: Sunrise 9:45; sunset 13:34!). Crazy stuff... but breathe easy, reader: Cause tomorrow is a whopping 5 minutes longer up there... ;)

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So, what's actually happening in Paradise?

Not too much... reading, coffee enjoyment, stuyding svenska (yup, I am aware that this post is in English, hushhh!), walks with the B, enjoying the new groceries, connecting with friends and family via email and chats, and mentally preparing for my business trip to Mr. Moose in 5 (!!) days.

And dreaming about skiing. Look at this beauty, for example... doesn't this slope just scream for some lines??

Actually, it doesn't. It's a pile of pebbles a few kilometers away from the house. Not much riding there.... but tons of dreaming! :)

HoliDAZE...

My first holidays "not working with troubled teens in the wilderness in four years" were thoroughly enjoyable. I barely missed the kiddos. And thanks to N and I's glorious idea we went into the forest where I served up some cheese fondue for everyone :)

How come I haven't done this before?? Like, as a staff meal when I worked in the woods? It only takes minutes once the fire is going and it's positively incredible. At least for a Swiss.

Check out the cheese string!!

Beefy found the secret recipe and stash ;)

Charming N.

Charming another N (and the photographer).

Swedish holiday dinner. Based on fish and meat.

Most important to me.. the evening walk around midnight.

My mom had sent me home-made Christmas cookies, chocolate, a candle, dried fruit, and a Swiss twig!

And my Oregon friends more than touched me with their Super-Care-Package for B and I...
Who wouldn't run off to Sweden when getting bliss in a box like this?

This is a photo of parts of Yxbacken. We went snowboarding there the other day. It shows maybe 1/2 of the whole "mountain". Was fun though!

B and I found more ice upon returning to Paradise...

And now, we're settling back in living on our own and eating holiday candy. He's got the biggest pile of candy ever (and so do I).

Also: I am a little bit concerned that I'll fall in a hole as I am a bit too non-busy these days. Just realized yesterday that I have barely worked in 2009. I was done with my last trek in early April and then only worked 2 months in August and September... crazy... how come I am not on and island somewhere if I am already taking such a long "break"? And, can I even work anymore? Need to find a way to keep the doubts at bay these days.

Nice to remember that I made some absolutely wonderful connections this year. Other than getting to celebrate this past week with friends and (their) family I also received notes and lil' packages from places I least expected it. The farmer gave me a big box of Merci Chocolate when I brought him a homemade card (featuring his cats and him), and I got a really exciting mixed CD and chocolate and a Oregon sticker and a note from Long Story Longer (one of my first blogging connections :)...).

So, plenty to do these days while waiting for the next step with my employment hopes (getting an invite for an interview to the refugee home place, visiting the moose guy in mid-January, and hearing what happened during the board meeting at Yxbacken after January 11th): Eating candy, listening to music, reading, walking the B, training the B, learning Swedish, writing... sounds dreamy, no? And like a good way to keeping the black cloud at bay that way...

Am Alive... (and Trying to Be) Well.

Sigh.

My new home is sweet. The places around it totally incredible... lots of seashore, lots of forest, moss, snow flurries, sun sprinkles, wind gusts.

In the midst of all the beauty there are B and I. He is gentle, sometimes nudging, often patient, frolicking, panting, at times barking, always sweet and beautiful. I am overjoyed, thoughtful, silent, teary-eyed, lonely, rested, restful. My inner hermit is coming out again. And that feels wrong.

I am supposed to:

- Call people
- Meet people
- Go up to people
- Take chances
- Be courageous
- Branch out...

... and ALL those things sound hard to me.

Maybe tomorrow? Or the day after? How about next week? Wait, I gotta find a way to pay rent in January. Fuck.

It's really hard for me not to be able to connect with the people in my life that I have. You know, the kind that doesn't speak Swedish. The folks that I am already close with. The first morning in my new home I thought I was incredibly lucky as my laptop caught some wireless signal from somewhere. That was only a half-a-day worth of luck, though. It has not come back since.

Now it's up to me to make it to the library to catch up on life. Which means 10 km of biking... not so bad, as long as the snow isn't covering the road. Walking 10 km just to check my email seems a bit more involved. I don't think I can afford getting internet at home. Not until I found a way to pay rent in January.

Which means I should do all the things above...

Hmmmm.

Starting my own... firm??

So, I am looking for a job. I visited with that "opportunity-knocked" lady yesterday and learned that we will be neighbors for a month in my new home. Then she will move to Dubai - and gift me with some of her furniture. Not bad, eh? She didn't just hand me over a job though. She wanted to meet me and first figure out if she felt good about me so that she could advertise me in the employer world. She said she did (feel good about me) and that she will (advertise me). We shall see.

I am getting on my hind legs today to do some work on my own. Am planning to research a bit and write to some places that may be of interest to me. Fact is that I don't want a normal job anymore. Of course I would take whatever right now, but in the long run I want something that is a bit more out there (for example, in nature), than your usual 8-5 job. I want for my dog to be integrated. I want for it to be fun and healthy. I want meaningful experiences while on the clock. All that stuff.

Patrick was just here and pushed me towards starting my own business. Just for in between.... or possibly long term. Offering solo experiences to people. Hmmmm... that was a dream of mine a few years back. I could probably reconnect with that passion fairly easily. Will have to do some research and creative brainstorming. What do you think?