What does one say when...

... one has finally found a place to call home after years of searching for it?

The Farm is full of small perfect sights.

I love how well it's taken care of and how nicely it has aged.

Wanna find out if birds will nest in that little house up there in the spring?

Double-luck attracter?

This last picture shows the building that holds the stable area, my garage, my gear storage room and some wonderful handiman area... and my actual live-in house in the back ground.

I'm not sure what to say now that I have a home.

Am waiting for the wood stove to be activated for me so I can start heating my space that way.

Have spent hours the other day with a chainsaw... readying myself for the cold.

Have berries in the freezer and rhubarb.

Bought a wonderful bed and ordered a couch.

Taking small steps to making it more mine every day.

:)

The Farm.

This is it, people... my new base.

In a whirlwind Buford and I left our old house right after our client left. We have spent the last 10 days or so moving our belongings from our temporary house to our new home.

I've even bought a bed in the meanwhile!! (Side note: Kinda crazy that I had to learn at 33 years old that I have slept wrong for all of my life?! From a cute guy at IKEA that "checked me out" while pretending to sleep on various beds? Was well worth it though, cause I now sleep in heaven every night. Thinking I may push a 100 if I continue good stuff like this for myself... Underbart!).

But, back to The Farm.

On the picture above (I took a photo of a photo in the older flat upstairs) you can see all the buildings that are bascially mine. Yeah, I get to be the "rent-in owner" of all of them...!

B and I live in the house on the upper right corner of the picture. The other buildings are an actual stable, a house that's being renovated (not actively, but it looks incredibly promising), quite a few sheds, and several storage places. Everything is in nice shape and beautifully aged.

There is also a swing. B gets a lot of stoke in his eyes when I use it. May try to capture that on "film" at some point for you all.

There is also endless forest that starts right behind our property.

And in the forest there are lingonberries. And moose. And bears. And trails to bike and hike and ski on. You get the picture. It's my kind of paradise.

Am planning to take some current photos of it all today.

Cannot wait to share...

In the meanwhile: Har det bra!

We landed.

B and I (and the plants I bought instead of a bed, a couch, chairs, kitchen table...) made it to our new home: The Farm.

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More soon. :-)

Hoppla!

I have 14 minutes till I have to wake up the client who then has to do a couple last minute things before jumping into (T)rusty and head to the place where we start our 100 km canoe trip on Klarälven. Naturally, I have a million things still to do. Catching up here is an inmportant one.

Ready? Here we go!!

First a few photos of the last adventure:

Huts we reached after a 25 km hike.

Once B was with us my smiles increased by... well, a lot.

Photo credits go to A who hiked with us in week 3.

A taking in Helag.

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Life is full.

Our time at home was mostly nice and sometimes tricky. I am clearly more prepared to do crazy expeditions with youth than to have them at my home. My home life really isn't as active as say... a farm life or some other good place where a troubled youth can untrouble his or her self.

Accordingly I have to work more. Meaning I have to create ways to keep us busy to keep some one from getting into trouble (for once not myself or the Beef-ster).

Over these past 2 weeks we did quite a good job at just that.

And at picking blueberries (hurray, they're back!), cooking scrumptious meals, cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, doing paper work, catching fish, providing Beefy Panify with daily adventures and:

SEALING THE DEAL TO MOVE TO A FARM!!

Yes, you heard right. Yours truly will spend the next week canoeing the Klarälven 100 km towards the south, then see some friends in the old stomping grounds and spend the last week prior to being FREE AS A BIRD (after working for 7+ weeks nonstop) on the islands of the St Anna Archipelago and then - move to the sweetest rental opportunity in all of Sweden per September 1st!

It's a farm that...

... is fully functional in case I want some additional four-legged ones...

... is located beautifully on the outskirts of a sweet little village...

... has trails (snowmobile, bike, hike, ski) basically going through the back yard...

... an incredible flat in it for the rascal and I...

... tons of space for all the things I can come up with...

... work spaces for wood work, art, repair, etc. ...

... a humonguous garden space that just kind of transitions into the forest...

... a wood stove...

... freezer, dishwasher, washer, dryer, environmentally sound appliances...

... lots of light...

... mountains and streams right outside my door!!

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Ups, time to wake the client....

... anyways, I'll be back to move my stuff there and keep things more updated around here.

-- Skipping away :) --

Loving the Swedish Roots from a Distance.

I'm totally loving my time in the States. I feel grateful for friends, new encounters, landscapes, opportunities, lovingly missing the B, and more. I feel balanced, resourceful, relaxed, and strong.


A memorable moment happened after a beautiful visit with a friend and her dogs in Sisters, as I drove back to Bend in another friend's trusty VW van "Burt". Suddenly it occurred to me with absolute clarity that I could not do in Bend what I am now doing in Sweden. I think during my time in Bend I was too suppressed by the system (or the way I have positioned myself within it) to think and act in the way that I now do in regards to my future in Sweden. Not to mention finances, as well as competition and need in regards to my kind of business. I am feeling streamed by gratitude for having followed my instincts Up North, and - even though I didn't realize it prior to my time here - have actually grown some substantial roots in Sweden already.


Maybe I am further along on my Sweden to-do-list than I thought?



Also, in other news: After my return to Montana I have learned that the German company that sends kids here has already inquired if I could take one of them later on. They are interested to send the boy to me first - and then... SEND US TO RUSSIA TO EXPLORE HIS ROOTS WITH HIM!!!! Hello?! Life?! How come you're so incredibly wonderful with me?


No details are out yet, and it may not work out at all... but the sheer fact that I have vague requests to take clients even before I am back home and working on it is... encouraging to say the least.



I also met LSL very quickly before leaving Oregon and my friends there. The short but sweet visit makes me grateful for connections that can happen anywhere... even here on my blog.



I cannot even start to talk about the time with my friends in Bend. Thanks, all of you who were a part of it. I couldn't live my life in this exciting manner if I wasn't grounded by your friendship.



Thanks to the acting out of the volcano on Iceland I am now enjoying a couple of days in between Oregon and my backcountry time in Glacier National Park. Which led to me spending a night out in the mountains near Kalispell with the boy that may later live with me... and to my participation in an Ayahuasca ceremony last night. A Peruvian Medicine Man is visiting the farm, and offered us graciously his medicine. Yeah, ... lucky me.



In a few hours I'll scoop up the kid that I'll take to Glacier for the rest of my time here. I'm thrilled and excited to dive into an unknown backcountry that promises to blow my mind. And then... I'll come back here to try and fit all the new Buford toys and snacks into my bagagge and head back to where my roots are. Mmmm-mh!

Wow.

So, I am sitting in the tåg between Norrköping and Stockholm Arlanda, where I will sleep in the Jumbohostel tonight in anticipation of my insanely early departure to the States tomorrow. I am typing this on a new notebook that I got from Mr. Moose who has been very generous with setting me up with stuff that he didn't need (phone, laptop, mobile internet) and I did/do. Yup, I have had some things fall into my lap recently. I don't mind.



I have been busy preparing these last few days, as well as enjoying the last few days at home with the B. We said goodbye about an hour ago... N brought him along to the bus stop, so that he would see me leave - versus me leaving the house and him waiting for me to come back for five weeks. Who knows if it makes a difference? I gave him a last kiss on the head, told him to be good and then N walked him off. He walked with her... all grown up and cute. Then turned around to look back. I'll remember his cute face seeking mine... but then - seemingly reassured - trotting on with her. We had an awesome half hour cuddle session on the couch during our last hour together. I am so lucky to have him, and to have such wonderful care takers while I am out adventuring.



That's what I am doing now. Full-time. I am excited about what's to come... and blown away that I brought all these adventures into my life. Even though my future is not secured yet (is that ever the case anyways?), I feel blessed with all the doors that have opened themselves to me over the past weeks and months. And, you know, who gets to go adventure travel all over the world with clients? It's kind of funny how (particularly for the Belize trip) it's almost as if my professions from over the years merged. I used to be a travel agent/specialist for Central America and Latin America. Then the guiding, and the work with troubled youth. Take all that - and you have my current gig. I am also very excited for the time in Montana on the Ranch and in the wild. It's really a dream come true.



Another really positive aspect of all this is that I will get to see, well, live, what it's like to have troubled kids living with me. I am still hoping to create something similar to what I will see over the next 5 weeks on my own in Sweden. But first when I'll come home (I'm so proud to call Sverige my home) Mr. Moose and I will start a temporary program on the moose farm. We are planning to take in four individuals at a time, aged 18-25, whom we will support in their struggle with addiction by providing them with a structured environment and activites in and around the farm, focusing on the outdoors, community involvement, and 12-step program components. I am really psyched and excited to have such an adventure wait for me while I am out adventuring to pass the time.



Driving across half of Sweden yesterday (to bring B from Sveg to Söderköping) I saw yet again more of my beautiful country. It is stunning here, in a subtle, rough way that I cannot get enough of. I am intensely curious to see Up North without the snow cover that I know it with and cannot wait to meet some of the 1500 bear that live in Jämtland. There are also Myskoxen (a small version of a Bison that only exists in the area) and of course moose and other creatures. One of my likely obsessions-to-be will be the lake/river system that we live on. From my house it's about a 30 minute walk down to the lake (I am so planning on setting up the Kurt Hahn routine of having the clients, B, and I, do a daily early morning dip). The lake extends into Ljusnan River, which will allow us to canoe days and days and days... There are tons of islands on the lake and with that endless exploration opportunities, camp outs, solos, you name it. It's my kind of playground.



And sometimes, Mr. Moose pulls out the maps from Really Up North, where all the names are impossible for me to pronounce, cause they are written in Sami. It feels as if it's sacred up there.. and if I wasn't on this crazy journey of my own right now I would have gone along with Mr. Moose who is snowmobiling up there as I type this to meet up with an athlete who is skiing on Kungsleden (King's Trail), a 400 km long trail that supposedly connects some of Sweden's most stunning landscapes. I said it once before on here... moving Up North adds a whole lot of excitement to my life. It's come more than true.



[Currently we are driving backwards with the train. There is some problem with the spår... hmmm - good thing I am not trying to catch a plane tonight...].



So, I hope to update this blog more frequently (or at all) over these next few weeks. But, who knows what life is going to look like.



I am thrilled to be seeing some of you all soon - that's quite the treat in the midst of all this.



In the meanwhile, take care of yourself, send positive juju to the Beefenator and lycka till with your own endeavors!

Falling in Love with Sweden... Every Day a Little More.

I have found an awesome net of cross-country ski trails just outside of Sveg that allow Buford and I to collect some serious mileage. Within the last 4 days we have walked around 3 Swedish miles (can you do the math?). And during those walks, I have felt grounded, strong, and filled with gratitude and wonder.

Am I really allowed to call this place home? Really? With all the birch trees, the pines, the moose, and the bear?

These days I'm pondering the fact that I haven't created a home for myself in forever. Over the past ten years I have lived in many different houses with different people, in my beloved van Shark, out-of-doors, or have frequently been allowed to "surf somebody's couch" for a while. I always enjoy making my space "my space" and don't mind those spaces to be transient (e.g. camping for one night on a backpacking trip). And yet, I smile at the thought of soon being able to invest time, money, and most importantly, creativity, into my home here in Sweden. I am not certain if "the house" will be that place, or if I'll find a smaller roof to live under. But I realized today, that in ten years I haven't bought (m)any things that were designed to be used in a house. All my pots and pans for example are camping equipment... [until tonight - I bought a set of pots that allow me to boil more than three red-beats at-a-time (I used to boil three almost every night - cause I love them)]. I catch myself almost nervously wondering, if I even have a home decor style. It seems so daunting to me, to think of purchases such as... a couch... a lamp... a (gasp!) bed. For years I have gotten those things for free (or almost) from friends, second-hand stores, and garage sales. While I love the practice of re-using and recycling (and I'll certainly do my fair share of that in the future) I think I will also commit to my new nest with some purchases when I return to Sweden. At age 32 it probably wouldn't be so bad to actually own a good mattress. Even though part of me screams inside, while I type this ("JUST SLEEP ON YOUR 2-INCH THERMAREST!! IT'S PROBABLY HEALTHIER ANYWAYS!!"), I almost feel like some home investments will add to my sense of finding a home.

And to "Create a home for Buford and I" must be taken seriously... it's priority # 2 on my Sweden To-Do-List after all...

Here and Now has never been this exciting!!

Since we arrived Up North, Beefy does either this:

The little guy destroying the even littler guys - with much gusto!

Or that:

Notice how he actually ear-snuggles the radiator...
... that's a hint, for what it's been like SO FAR.


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Yup, Buford is either playing to stay warm... or curling up near the heat source to stay warm (at night that's me). It's cold up here... -20 degrees Celsius during the day.. and -27 degree Celsius right now. That's cold. Really cold.

The snow that's falling is microscopically small. Magical really. Crazily the cold is what keeps me from riding that stuff... am worried that Beefy will freeze to death waiting in the car for me to do some runs... or freeze off his little paws coming along... or die of worry if I leave him home alone. We just arrived after all. Plus... I kinda don't know where to go either. I'm the new kid on the block. Or... the road. Cause there aren't blocks here... that's why I moved here. :)

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I spent my first day here meeting with some folks from the addiction center, getting further encouragement to follow through with my plans... and then the next getting my stuff moved from the car into the house. Looking back I think I was a bit in a daze... I may still be in it, actually.

Arriving here and getting settled into "my house" is quite the trip for my mind. It means that I'm finally in the place I have dreamed of for.... ever. I'm in a place where I can start growing roots... building community... a business... a home... all of it. No more... once I am "there" I can do such and such. But: Here and Now. Period.

Scary... and exciting. Until today I was still a little hung up on some stuff... like: Not being able to use the wood stove in my house. That was a big deal to me... not knowing what it would end up costing to heat the house via radiators... (my answer to that was to turn all of them off - minus the ones in the kitchen and declare the kitchen my living zone). I also started to have worries creep back in related to income... where will it come from? To my defense I gotta say though that I dealt with those worries quite beautifully. Bought some healthy food and started my simple life right by making good meals from scratch right away... :) - can you say: fresh basil? Brussel sprouts? ---- Nice job.

Today things changed around another 180 degrees.

Mr. Moose came for a visit. On his snowmobile. Obviously... that's how he likes to travel.

And this is what he brought into my life:

- The OK to use the wood stove... and therewith making my house perfect.
- The info that the shed is full of wood. Yay!
- Warmth and comfort (see above... 10 degrees difference - now it's 20).
- My first job! Working two days a week will magically put me into a financially relaxed place...

Can you believe it?

What that all means is that my recent choices of moving Up North have led to some significant and important changes in my life...

... within the last week I have added the following elements to my life:

- A beautiful house for Beefy and I (OK, it may not be BEAUTIFUL yet...)
- A (t)rusty car :)
- A job (first one after living here for 6 months)
- Been asked to give an interview to Switzerland's biggest newspaper
- Received fan mail ;)
- Moved to a place where I can ski and snowboard
- Reached a place to realize my dreams... like... NOW
- Found new people to support my visions
- Become neighbors with three tame moose

Doesn't that FRIGGIN' ROCK??!!!! It basically means that my ballsy move already has paid off...

I think it's all thanks to the Beef... but don't tell him, otherwise he'll request more food... ;)

Finally: Up North.

This is what Buford did all day yesterday:

How can one not adore the little bugger? :)

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And now... ladies and gentlemen, I proudly present:

Our (new old) car... and our house Up North!!!

Can you believe the Swedish flag???

And now, if you could excuse me...: I got a house to clean and cozy up!!