Skinny Dip Inspiration (... or Invitation?).

Ups, I did it again.

Couldn't resist a waterway's invitation to join it for a few seconds...

Maybe I captured it's beauty well enough for you to be tempted as well?

Wait, that is just a fuzzy pic of B and some fern-lings!! :)

I had no clue that my backyard offered a 200 yard waterfall...!

I'm in love. The colours. The energy. The simplicity.

In other news:

Had a real wonderful first date with a wonderful fellow yesterday.

Up on the fjäll.

Caught several rainbows.

Ran with B.

Who ate some berglemmings (= sadly some very cute little creatures).

Life continues to be wonderful.

And maybe a tad less lonely.

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Where and when are you next going to be inspired to take a dip?

Amazing Glacier National Park.

Even though I am already back in Sweden, here a few impressions from Glacier National Park, where I spent my last week of my US stay. I feel blessed to have been given the opportunity to enjoy such diverse and beautiful places over the past five weeks. I'll write more about what's to come soon. I may also attempt to find words for the incredible experience of being reunited with Buford. Until then, enjoy the views:

This, to me, is perfection in beauty.

I shot it the morning of my departure after 3-4 days of rain and snow.

Nope, my client is not running away. He's heading to the lake to take photos. :)

Couldn't help but be reminded of Sweden...

These coulds turned out to be the forebodes of 3-4 days of storm.

Ducks nestled in.

Getting water = daily meditation.

Wonder if it had the same effect on the youngster?

* Shitballz! *

I know, I know. Shitballz isn't that nice of a post title. But, what can I say... it's my word of the day. I've been hearing it inside my head ever since I got woken up by a phone call this morning. Shitballz.. shitballz! .... Shitballz. Like a bad song that I cannot get out of my head. And due to my - at least today - lacking coping skills I can simply not come up with another post title. Shitballz... Even now... hours after having diverted a major disaster the word keeps haunting me eerily. Shitballz. Ouch.

It's been a tough day. (He! You wouldn't have imagined when reading that intro, huh?).

The cold who's butt I meant to kick a week ago has returned full force. My body feels like it should be resting (or be caressed ;)...) but instead it has to function. Cause I am moving all my crap single-handedly out of Paradise. And I have 48 hours left. And I have nowhere to go. [Well, I am going to stop for a little at N & N's, but then...? However, I cannot have a cold there... N cannot be around sick people...] Arrrgh!

On days like these it feels particularly disheartening that I am not even sure how and if I'll create an income for myself Up North. After all I happen to be... eh... kinda in mid-leap! *Shitballz!*

The weather has also decided to add some tickle to my day by being intense. Southern Sweden is at warning level 1 in regards to snow. Parts of Sweden are at level 2. Snow is falling like crazy. The good thing about this is that Beefy makes me laugh when he swim/flies through the fluffiness. The bummer came this morning when the folks from Myrorna called to tell me that they couldn't come and pick up my couch, couch seats, TV, DVD player, two tables, and chair. Cause the weather was too crazy. Could they come in a week? ------------ NOOOOO!! I gotta be out of the apartment by Sunday. It's Thursday. I don't even have a car much less a vehicle/trailer that could get the crap elsewhere (and how does ONE Marlies move the stuff out of the apartment?). [This may have been when shitballz made it's way into my life]. They said they were gonna call back. Yuck!

The other problem was that I didn't know if the couches (who I had taken off my neighbors hands only a couple months ago) were 'good enough' to be donated. Aie!

I'll spare you the details... they ended up coming anyways, loved all the stuff, and took it with them. The relief I felt cannot be put in words. I took a picture...:


Donating stuff has never felt so good.

Still, the stress-filled morning makes me once again painfully aware of how intense my adventure is. When all the doubts and fears creep in, I can barely handle it. I feel very lonely at those times.

Today I had to give myself a few minutes of Beefy hugging and letting the tears flow. That helped. [Just now he got himself comfy near my feet, resting his head on my right foot -- aww.]

Can things please get a bit easier sometimes soon?

And can people I send emails or call please return them? [I am talking about business stuff here, so, please, no friend feel offended. Without you I would only be half the person I am.]

Sweet Shoulders is shredding couloirs in Val d'Isere. That makes me smile a little.

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I captured beauty though recently. As always, nature is incredibly stable and nurturing and hope-inducing for me.

B & I can now walk on what I skinny-dipped in only a little while ago.

Best canine companion... ever.

OK, one last time: *Shitballz!!!*

That may have done it.

Take care!

Speechless.

The last 24 hours were some of the most nurturing for my soul in my life.

It's one of those moments where I re-track choices I have made over the last weeks, months, and years, and wonder if I possibly may have known all along where they were gonna lead me... - here and now.

I am totally blown away.

I wanna connect with people and share. Wanna call someone up (ha! the phone rang the very second I wrote this... it was my landlord though, whom I had told about the weapon - so no child is going to find it and injure him/herself or someone else... - not to speak of the fact that Paradise is right next to a prison!! - but of course I couldn't utilize that contact to share what's happening here and now) to dissect what I saw and felt today... so I can see and feel it again, from a new angle.

So, what is it that rocks my world...?

- I got to touch moose today... and feed them bananas.
- I was driven around a magical landscape that is decorated with crystals...
- I saw Swedish mountains...
- I got to watch a frickin' reindeer herd right outside the car (B shook like an addict during withdrawal when I made him aware of the beauty, ha!).
- I felt and heard snow krack and crumble under my feet (it's -25 degrees here).
- I saw the most beautiful sky turn all kinds of colors.
- I am offered to start my own business in the midst of this - actual - paradise... where everything that's needed is present.

All I have to do... is stop waiting.

Stop Waiting is the title of an essay of mine that has been published a few years ago. I'll share it here to help me with my speechlessness, as well as to kick the nay-sayer within myself in the butt... hard.

That's all for now. I gotta do some savoring... Over & Out.

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Stop Waiting

Nobody and nothing will keep me from experiencing happiness and success. Yet my vision of completeness is not described by the presence of the two. I feel an equal need to touch sadness and failure to learn about my truth. To move towards it is beautifully simple: I just have to stop waiting.

I was waiting until I was twenty-one, and I did not even know it. Sure, I had a life, some ups and downs, good days and not so treasured ones. What I did not have at the time was my own dream, a goal to aspire to that held true meaning to me. My aspirations were the result of my environment's filters, marked by seemingly insurmountable walls on both sides, leaving me a path that started out relatively narrow; widening proportionally with time. I did not question its limitations. Conditional dreaming.

Then I met this kid. He was only nineteen at the time. He dreamed bigger than I. His destination was the world. His options the universe. He asked me to come along. I could not. For I had waited to dream fully, and was not able to take steps towards realization. He sparked a fire within me. I carefully started to stretch my horizon. Engaged in conversations with strangers. Walked to unknown places. Allowed myself to fall into a deep sea of inspiration. Guided by nature, people, and my inner voice. A dream evolved.

Seven years later I walk outside the boundaries of my earlier years. My destination is reshaping daily; it is being bent, stretched, squashed, and keeps unfolding. I invite transformation into my life. And I trust my inner voice whether to stop, look back, take a breather, or blissfully leap forward.

Now is the time to stop waiting again. I have become comfortable dreaming and nurturing my vision. I can remove my safety blanket now and step out into the open. I am willing to hold on to the hands that are being offered in support. Ready to reconnect with the environment I previously pushed away. For my vision is to break down the limitations. I am hungry to see more shining eyes. Hear fewer sighs of despair. Encounter more laughter, and more tears. I want to stand into the center of the fire with the hurt ones, the discouraged, the strugglers. Sense and tolerate their fear, anger, and insecurity. So they can make choices whether to hold on or let go. And maybe find that their boundaries are as much a result of perception as mine were. So we can experience more than conditional freedom. I have a plan on how to get us there.

All I have to do is to stop waiting.

An Ice Wonder, and B, and... Ird.

I filmed B and I's trip over the Braviken Sea yesterday.





Love the sounds of the ice pieces klink-ing on one another (which you may or may not hear over the ferry motor...). The weather continues to be wonderful. One can only hope that it stays that way for New Years. Has everyone heard about the Blue Moon that we get to experience? B and I will celebrate New Years by ourselves, so we are stoked that we'll get the company of Blue Moon in Paradise :).

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I gave B a bird for X-mas. By now, the bird has turned into Ird... See for yourself:

Also: We need a couple paws and fingers crossed... B's paw pads are not fairing so well with the icy snow around here. He's got tiny cracks in his pads that we (actually, he doesn't care - yet!) try to keep from busting... Yesterday we lost two Ruffwear booties to the ice :( --- today's hike happened with vet-wrapped feet for one of us. We're still in the green zone but I wonder how long we can keep the paws together... last year one of his pads busted and cost me over 300 $ to fix... as well as a tough time of not moving much... plus we had to leave a great ski trip early. Gotta keep the paws together... Wish us luck!!

Ice in Paradise.

No wonder Swedes talk about light therapy around here.

It's magical...

Stamp!

Isn't this simply incredible? Is there a more perfect stamp out there?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

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Makes me wanna write letters instead of blogs.

Just kidding, this suits me more than I thought. :)