Of Cuddles, Play, and Rowing in the Skärgård.

Welcome back!

Here's a visual of our time out in the Skärgård (Swedish for Archipelago). The Swedes are proud of their islands... I can understand why.

Note B's favorite sleeping spot: The fire pit! Maybe he doesn't need beds and sleepingbags after all?!

Love. This. Shot.

He looks so endlessly happy when he gets to play with the boy.

Sometimes I catch him even though he's speedy as no other!

Paradise, right?

Me, rowing the boat.

More cuddles. There has to be time for that.

Hard worker resting his eyes... :)

One healthy dog.

I only learned recently that Buford's tumor wasn't malignant. With that, B is decidedly ONE HEALTHY DOG.

We'll take it.

He continues to be a wonderful cuddler, a keen antler'n'hoof-hunter, and a surströmming smell lover.

Thanks for the support.

Two Years of Furballin'.

Today it is two years since these sweet eyes have found mine for the first time.

I will never forget that moment.

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I had arrived at the Animal Rescue Foundation near Fossil a few minutes prior, full of anticipation. My trip into the beautiful canyon in the Ochocos in Eastern Oregon had one purpose:

Meeting Buford, to find out if I could adopt him.

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Taking a dog into my life had been a long time coming. And yet, it came to me as quite a shock when I realized about a year before meeting the rascal that I am... and this may sound weird... old (or, mature? stable? committed? responsible?) enough to finally fulfill this longheld dream of mine. It felt incredibly empowering to shift from "I cannot have a dog due to... school, the house, money, blahblahblaaaah" to... "holy shit, if I am actually serious about this I can make it happen".

That shift is/was hands down one of the key moments in my life.

And it continues... it seems as if I have been stumped in my development somewhere... I often feel as if I have to "ask" someone else if I can go forward with something. Particularly when the "go forward" seems solely for my pleasure; like, for instance, getting a dog.

Turns out that getting Beefy wasn't just for pleasure.

Taking Buford into my life has made me - and continues to make me - a more whole human being.

I laugh more.

I move more.

I am calmer.

I touch more.

I look more closely.

I am more understanding.

I giggle more.

I am more playful.

I relate more.

I feel more at home, wherever I am.

And I take more photos. :)

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Back at ARF I met Sandy, who later became a treasured friend of mine. We had been emailing. I had asked her if that clown-like looking dog that I had seen on Petfinder may be a fit for my needs. Meaning if I could take him along on Wilderness Therapy Expeditions. And that I lived in a van (and couldn't provide a fenced backyard, however was going to live a life in and about nature with my future dog). Her response had sounded as if she had waited for someone like me to inquire for Buford. (Which differed greatly from the response I got at the local Humane Society. The people there didn't understand my lifestyle. I also didn't really connect to any of the caged up dogs, bless their hearts.)

Nonetheless, I was nervous.

It felt like such a leap.

Buford wasn't around upon my arrival. But there were tons of other dogs swirling around me.

Sandy told me that Buford was up at the nursery with Jerry. They were about to come back.

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Eventually the white van made it's way back to us. Several dogs were running behind it.

My eyes searched for the dorky face I had seen online.

"Will I recognize him?" I wondered.

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There! "Buford!" Our eyes met. That split second was it. Sandy later said that Buford and I "velcroed" right away. I didn't know at the time, but felt that something big was happening. When we took a walk with Buford and some other dogs he kept making eye contact with me and staying close.

It felt like coming home right then.

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I have felt that way uncountable times in the meanwhile.

To this day I whisper to B on a regular basis: "I cannot believe that I have a dog in my life...".

Even though my life has been crazy over these last two years I feel I have been more grounded than I ever have.

I remember worrying that I couldn't provide B with a life as good as he's had at ARF.

Now I understand that he needed something that he couldn't have had at ARF.

He needed a person the way I needed a dog.

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To many more amazing and adventurous years Little One!!

Finding pleasure in slow paced activities like... chewing big ass bones.

I am super busy with finalizing my business set up and the parents visiting and life happening all around.

For a quick update here some shots of the cute guy that's recovering well.

Will be back for more shortly!

B is on drugs... not enjoying the high though.

B has a tough day today.

No breakfast for starters...

... and... the surgery.

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B used to be very unconcerned when visiting the vet.

Yep, used to be. After being taken his temperature in his butt a few too many times and having been stitched up after a skiing accident a little over a year ago he started to be more careful around those caretakers.

When we visited the vet for the first time here a couple weeks ago he was timid.

Today, he was really scared.

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It's over now.

We're home - he's whimpering in his sleep.

I carried him out of the car and onto his bed.

He will have to take it easy for two weeks (!). Bummer.

I really hope that this traumatic event wont leave any scars. He really doesn't need any of that.

I also hope that the growth turns out to be a histiocytom.

I struggle when B isn't well. (How's that for a surprise?)


Send some love!!

B's Pea Update.

Buford is getting surgery on his paw tomorrow.

We've been playing hard these last few days in order to pre-compensate for what's to come.

He's happy as ever. Unfortunately his paw has started to "puke" and bleed. The pea is smaller however also weirder. We're hoping for the best.

Cross your fingers for us - we gotta be healthy to fully embrace Up North.

Kayaking with the B.

Training on land: check!

Self-portrait: Check!

Cuteness: Check!

Back on safe ground: Check!

Sweet Saturday adventure: Check!

Update from Up North.

First and foremost: B's mini-tumor still has the opportunity to turn out to be a Histiocytom... meaning that it could be a "good" tumor that is not unusual in young dogs. I currently apply a gel twice a day that should make it receede (diagnostic tool of sorts) within a week or two. If it doesn't go away I will have to take him in for surgery. Even if I have to do that it could obviously turn out to be a "good" tumor; however, I am sending a lot of good juju into the cells to keep surgery from happening. It's better for B, for our exercise routines, and for my wallet. Thanks for the support!

I also got a chance to talk to a dog trainer about some of his less functional behaviors (essentially being protective of me). It's been incredibly good for me to seek help in this area, and I feel really good about taking some steps to help him feel more relaxed around strangers. In short: When looking at the pics on this blog you already know the B he already is... 95% of the time. Now I finally know how I can help him to feel that way 100% of the time! Yay, relief! Yay, asking for help!

This is our lake from a nearby skiing mountain. Mr. Moose and I started to seakajak on it last week. It's incredible. One day I went back and took B, thinking I could paddle along the shore and he could run (or rather, walk). Instead he swam and eventually jumped onto my kajak. Nope, I did not end up swimming, but realized that it will take a little training to realize the dreamy scenario of paddling into the sunset with Beefy strolling along. Little note of interest: Up North our sunset happens currently at 10:26pm and the sunrise at 3:35am.

B during our yesterday's walk. Sadly there are quite a few clearcuts that are very visible in Sweden. According to my interactions with locals they still collect wood that way here. Makes B and I a little sad. It's so much prettier when the trees get to stay where they belong. Or when sustainable practices are applied. And yes, we walked straight into that storm cloud... and had to find shelter under a tree later. That's where the following shot happened:

And lastly, the German visit. Man, I must admit I have been getting anxious about that one. Turns out that things went super smoothly, that we enjoyed one anothers company, that they loved my home, my (T)rusty (which is a stretch), and B (which is not). The - best possible result - of their visit has happened: I have a gig with a kid scheduled. I know I wrote on here that I have my first client a few weeks ago... which I do and it goes well by the way... but this will be my first REAL client. And it's going to be brilliant as I already know him, and as he will come here with another staff to spend three weeks in the area (during which I'll be a support and local guide of sorts - and make a little money). During the second three weeks of this 6-week project I, B, and the kid will be backpacking. Yahoooo!! Work! I'm for real! My company is, too! (Even though I have this awkward struggle to actually register it and move along with things). Isn't all this great?

I'm also going on an impromptu trip tomorrow til Wednesday. Accordingly I have to get my ducks in a row now and take advantage of being in the frontcountry for another 24 hour period or so. See you at the other end.

PS: Stay tuned for photos. After a longish period of rainy weather the forecast is sun sun sun! Being out for 4 days should lead to some inspiring shots! :)

Houston we have a problem...

I noticed a little pea-size deformity on Buford's right back paw the day we went mountain biking. It looked red, round, and not right. Buford didn't seem to mind me palpating it. I didn't think too much about it and decided to monitor it.

When I looked at it again it seemed less red, same size, still there. I showed it Mr. Moose today. He encouraged me to call his ex-girlfriend who's a canine expert (but no vet). I did and she said that it most likely is a tumor. ON MY BEEFS FOOT!! Doesn't have to be malignant of course, but... what?!

Am trying to figure out if I can get him to the vet tomorrow. Apparently there isn't one in town here so we will have to travel a bit. The next day I am expecting the German guys who may be my future client providers... sure hope these coming days will be good ones!

We clearly have stopped waiting.

Some action shots of today's walk below.

To both, B and I's delight has the lake filled up. Soon I'll join him in taking a dip.

Sometimes, "handsome" is just too fast for me... ;)

Stick lover through and through.

Ahem... just: Wow!

(We're looking at my rolemodel in regards to "how to approach life").

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Things continue to fall into place.

Am loving it all.

Mornings with my SFI friends, studying svenska.

Afternoons out exploring with my best friend.

Evenings making scrumptious meals with the youth.

In between: Taking steps to realizing my first business venture.

Norrland is for real.

I am running into reminders on just how "real" my new home is all the time. Having grown up in a beautiful small village in the Swiss Alps I am a total novice when it comes to living ruggedly Up North amidst animals like moose and bear and wolf. With my Mr. Moose connection I get to meet moose in a most unusual albeit fascinating way... as neighboring friends. Fact is, they don't all want to be pet and/or eat bananas (hmmmm... maybe they do all want to eat bananas but may just not know it?). Another fact is... Beefy wants to eat them. At least their legs if they are removed from the body. Lucky rascal found four legs a mere 200 yards from our house!! Waek.

Blissful B is obviously all about Up North and its treasures.

Found this during one of my recent morning strolls (!!).

(And yes, I do have small feet, but STILL.)

When I found paralleling smaller tracks I started singing, keeping the B close and eventually turned around.

Despite some initial shivers - as long as B and I are safe: I'm loving it.

Back Together.

Note: Not sure what's going on; however, I have not made it here as much as I had planned to recently. So much is certain, lots of things are happening - and lots of things should be happening (aka my to-do-list is lengthy), so in the interest of getting the juices flowing again, I'll get started by sharing B and I's reunion story.

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Somtime on May 2nd after three long flights, some time in between, and a couple of train rides I stumbled onto the platform at Norrköping Centralen. Backpack on, secondary bag in hand, my eyes searchingly scanning the cars and people nearby for the Lil' One. It's been 5 weeks or so.

There! I see him. He's weaving out of the parking lot, on leash, sniffing happily left and right.

He doesn't see me. Yet.

N, on the other end of his leash, spots me, waves, and comes towards me.

I make it across the driveway, and onto a little "traffic island".

I stop. Take him in. Wait.

He continues to weave, not a worry in the world.

He looks a little beefier. And, awfully cute.

I wait for him to get closer.

When he's only a couple of feet from me, I say: "Hey, Buford...".

He stops abruptely. Looks up.

And then... he explodes into my face.

I go down onto my knees. I feel his paws on my shoulders.

His tongue in my ears (he LOVES doing that).

I feel tears of joy brimming in my eyes.

We engage tail-waggingly, little-sweetness-sharingly into being fully present.

The sun dances on our faces.

I just take it in.

N stands next to us, still connected by the leash. She laughs.

I finally stumble to my feet again.

Hug N, whisper "Thank you!".

And N smiles and ... hands me his leash back.

Getting Grounded Back Home.

Yup, I almost didn't make it back to the house... Cause: "death by mud".

Sticks... The lake beds best kept secret.




We get to call all this our home?? :)




Crazy what features one can find without the snow cover!!

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Back. And loving it!

DO make me pull over... ;)

Scene: Inside (T)rusty, on the ICA parking lot in Sveg, Sweden.
When: After a 15km walk, app. 1:30pm.
Who: Yours truly and Beefy.

I was just about to leave the parking lot, right hand on (T)rusty's gear shifting device, eyes on the traffic, when I felt Beefy settle his chin onto said hand. I looked down at him. He looked up. He sighed. I smiled. Pulled (T)rusty over... and gave him a thorough head and ear rub.

Our walk on the incredible cross-country ski trails was blissful. Yet this moment with the little guy made my day.

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PS: He's slept ever since we returned home.

Back on Track.

Here I am again. Had to go undercover a little bit to swallow all the stuff that I have brought into my life. You know, traveling to the States and Belize in less than two weeks, setting up hemforsakring och reseforsakring, planning a stay with a troubled kid in a country I know nothing about (knew nothing about - now I am a pro), having conversations about my future business, my Swedish future, figuring out how to pay bills in the meanwhile, connecting with friends so they're ready to hug me, AND.... getting to grips with having just created an upcoming 5 week separation from my rock! That last one right there, kill(ed)s me. I didn't quite get my level of overwhelmd-ness though. So I found myself working last weekend... and then spending most of Monday and Tuesday reading a blog obsessively (www.crazyauntpurl.com) and playing a game on my phone even more obsessively (JewelQuest2). As well as the essentials of course.... walking B, visiting the moose, making yummy food, realizing my car isn't about to break (but it doesn't like to be mis-shifted into first gear instead of third when accelerating.... ups! - I was worried for several days until I acknowledged my mistake to myself - go figure). Anyways... whenever I looked at B, he looked sad to me. Winced even, sometimes. And the guilt about choosing to go abroad almost killed me. And the feeling of having little control over the matter (I need money, and, how can I say NO to one of the coolest, most adventurous job options ever, anyways?).

Luckily I got help. On Tuesday evening. From... who would have guessed?.... not one dog... but many. I saw a handwritten sign at the ICA (common grocery store in Sweden) saying the following:

Polardistans.
Hundspannstävling kommer att gå förbi
Värdshuset i Lillhärdal 9-11/3.
Första spann väntas in ca 21:00 den 9/3.
Förarna kör 30 mil.
Välkomna at titta.

That, right there, was my savior. For those of you who didn't do your Swedish homework... A polar distance (apparently 300km - have you heard of the "Swedish Mile" by the way? Multiply with 10 and you have kilometers.... Silly Swedes!) dogsledding race was going to come by a village nearby and people were invited to go check it out. I set up a field trip with the Beefster right away.

And on that trip... which ended up being a 60 km (6 Swedish Mile) trip in (T)rusty and a 6 km (.6 Swedish Mile... you got the gist of it?) hike through glorious landscape for B and I... I remembered to be present at the moment, to do the best I can, and to trust life a little bit more than I sometimes do.

I also was able to acknowledge that I am scared s%^&*less that something may happen to B in my absence (= single biggest fear on my horizon). And I decided to counter that fear by enjoying each day I have with him now. And to ensure my friends N&N know and understand his flaws (flaws? B? his mama? he!) and are able to counteract them as necessary.

So, I feel better now. I am not happy about the leaving B part by any means and I'm probably going to cry thick crocodile tears on the 23rd of March... but we will be OK.

Talking about crocodiles... they have them in Belize. Amongst jaguars, avocado trees, mango trees, boa constrictors, loggerhead turtles, parakeets, red-eyed tree frogs, cashew trees, and some other inhabitants. So, basically I have yet another "Trip of a Lifetime" ahead of me and I am whining about the fact that I love my dog so much that I don't want to leave him. How lucky am I, really?

So, don't hate, I am coming to grips with it all by myself. With the help of a blog, a new phone (that has an amazing camera inside its sleek self), and a few dogs.

OK, gotta go and create yet another unforgettable walk with B...

The Swedes let me belong... Finally!

Looks like Beefy isn't happy with the recent developments?! ;)

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The Swedes are finally officially accepting me as a real person!

How so?

They gave me a personnummer!! Hurray!

That number will basically give me the same rights any Swede has.

Gone are the days where I felt like I was less than due to a "wrong" number in my pseudo-personnummer. As of today (and I already used my privilege at the library) I can simply spell out my number and no longer have to educate people about the samordningsnummer (which I had so far).

Up North is where it's at. Truly.

Good times!

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Beefy and I also hiked 3 hours and 20 minutes... mostly in very deep snow.

It was meant to be an hour-or-so walk down to the lake... yeah.

Most of it was glorious... some painful though.

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Under other news:

I may have decided to take the troubled boy to Belize!

Does anybody know Belize? My choice is largely based on the fact that the people there speak English... I figured it may be better to keep things simple for once...
Versus feeling the need to improve my Spanish while learning Swedish.

So, things are happening.

And yeah, I anticipate to keep that smile on my face for a while...

Beefy Panify at his Best!

This post is dedicated to my rock.

Bliss...

Loyalty (not only to the ball).

Finding beauty.




Sincerely... wanna play some, mama?