An Afternoon Hike.

I'll let the pics do the talking this time ;)

Two Years of Furballin'.

Today it is two years since these sweet eyes have found mine for the first time.

I will never forget that moment.

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I had arrived at the Animal Rescue Foundation near Fossil a few minutes prior, full of anticipation. My trip into the beautiful canyon in the Ochocos in Eastern Oregon had one purpose:

Meeting Buford, to find out if I could adopt him.

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Taking a dog into my life had been a long time coming. And yet, it came to me as quite a shock when I realized about a year before meeting the rascal that I am... and this may sound weird... old (or, mature? stable? committed? responsible?) enough to finally fulfill this longheld dream of mine. It felt incredibly empowering to shift from "I cannot have a dog due to... school, the house, money, blahblahblaaaah" to... "holy shit, if I am actually serious about this I can make it happen".

That shift is/was hands down one of the key moments in my life.

And it continues... it seems as if I have been stumped in my development somewhere... I often feel as if I have to "ask" someone else if I can go forward with something. Particularly when the "go forward" seems solely for my pleasure; like, for instance, getting a dog.

Turns out that getting Beefy wasn't just for pleasure.

Taking Buford into my life has made me - and continues to make me - a more whole human being.

I laugh more.

I move more.

I am calmer.

I touch more.

I look more closely.

I am more understanding.

I giggle more.

I am more playful.

I relate more.

I feel more at home, wherever I am.

And I take more photos. :)

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Back at ARF I met Sandy, who later became a treasured friend of mine. We had been emailing. I had asked her if that clown-like looking dog that I had seen on Petfinder may be a fit for my needs. Meaning if I could take him along on Wilderness Therapy Expeditions. And that I lived in a van (and couldn't provide a fenced backyard, however was going to live a life in and about nature with my future dog). Her response had sounded as if she had waited for someone like me to inquire for Buford. (Which differed greatly from the response I got at the local Humane Society. The people there didn't understand my lifestyle. I also didn't really connect to any of the caged up dogs, bless their hearts.)

Nonetheless, I was nervous.

It felt like such a leap.

Buford wasn't around upon my arrival. But there were tons of other dogs swirling around me.

Sandy told me that Buford was up at the nursery with Jerry. They were about to come back.

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Eventually the white van made it's way back to us. Several dogs were running behind it.

My eyes searched for the dorky face I had seen online.

"Will I recognize him?" I wondered.

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There! "Buford!" Our eyes met. That split second was it. Sandy later said that Buford and I "velcroed" right away. I didn't know at the time, but felt that something big was happening. When we took a walk with Buford and some other dogs he kept making eye contact with me and staying close.

It felt like coming home right then.

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I have felt that way uncountable times in the meanwhile.

To this day I whisper to B on a regular basis: "I cannot believe that I have a dog in my life...".

Even though my life has been crazy over these last two years I feel I have been more grounded than I ever have.

I remember worrying that I couldn't provide B with a life as good as he's had at ARF.

Now I understand that he needed something that he couldn't have had at ARF.

He needed a person the way I needed a dog.

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To many more amazing and adventurous years Little One!!

Moose-lets in the hood!!

Look what happened while B and I hiked our butts off!!

Isa had her calves. They touch my soul and feed my sense of wonder.

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After visiting with them in the back area of the hägn, they made it to the farm house for the first time in their lives...

Sweet little wonders of life.

Someone pinch me...

I experienced some deeply touching moments today.

As I may or may not have written about here, I will receive a visit from two representatives of a German company next week. They want to see and experience my environment, learn more about my motivation to work with youth, and be interested to find out what specifically I can offer their clients.

A couple of nights ago - during a hike with B on top of our house mountain - I had the brilliant idea of utilizing the 24 hours they plan to spend with me in Mr. Moose's "alpine hut" that he's willing to let me utilize with my future clients during the Phase II I am planning.

When I called him to ask if that's an option and if we could go visit it prior his answer was as usual: "Of course. Wanna go tomorrow?"

We took a little longer than that, and went today.

I don't think the photos below will do my emotions justice.

But: The place is touching me deeply, letting me feel rooted instantly, giving me peace, and letting me trust that the kids that I'll bring there won't be able to escape that energy either (even though they will likely perceive it differently than I do).

There are a bunch of little houses. One of them contains a bastu (sauna) and showers. One a kitchen (open fire place in the center of the room), one three beds. And then there is a well outside. That's where one gathers water by letting a bucket down and dragging it back up. No electricity, fire places in all houses.

In short: My dream.

I was so touched, I almost cried. Not sure what was happening there, but it felt good.

Something about Sweden and their old ways is just really hitting the spot for me.

Well, Sweden,... keep it coming.

Universe...? I need some academia please!!

Hello there.

Call me manic. Over-the-top. Adrenaline addicted. Restless....?

I really want to find an academic institution that will allow me to grow mentally while I am doing my thing Up North. I feel a need for supervision. For studying. For searching new ways and techniques. For sharing with other professionals. All that stuff.

Which is why I surf the internet - once again - to find that perfect place for me.

The thing is... because I found the place where I want to grow roots (Up North, duhh! Nothing has changed on that end!), I am looking into ways to doing all that either a) via a distance course, b) in workshop form, c) locally, or d)... I wish I knew.

However, it's not that easy to satisfy yours truly. Heh.

Anyways... I have been ogling Prescott College's Masters Program in Adventure-Based Counseling for a while. That was alternative one to my lost seat to study Transpersonal Counseling Psychology with a focus on Wilderness Therapy at Naropa in Boulder. But... it just really doesn't make sense for me to do a 3-year degree traveling between Sweden and the States. Too much unrest. Too much forcing. Too much money (for god's sake!!).

But: I just found Plano Alto again. And this is funny and fascinating in that very grounding way. I first found Plano Alto (at the time called Wildnisschule) in 1998. I had my fingers on their catalogs ever since. (Ask my mom if you need confirmation, she's bundled them into my room just in case I ever directed my gaze towards Switzerland again.) Here's the thing though: They may just be offering me the perfect way to fulfilling my current need.

Plano Alto has a couple programs that I could fit into my life that last between a year and two that require its participants to travel to different places in Europe to earn modules for programs such as Systemische Prozessgestaltung, Erlebnispaedagogik, or Systemische Naturtherapie und Beratung. Added bonus: I am already in love with some of the teachers (thanks to having read their literature before). Another added bonus: Those programs cost me a tiny fraction of the US equivalents (meaning... e.g. Euro 4,600.-- for the Systemische Naturtherapie program instead of 66,000 US$ for the program at Prescott). Another added bonus: It's European (probably helpful for my program up here). Another added bonus: Participating in a program that has workshops in Switzerland (and on occasion in Greece!) will get my butt home... it's been 2 (!) years. Another added bonus: I can easily combine this with my firm in the making.

Wow. You may hear more of Plano Alto in the near future.


Universe? ------ Thanks. You continue to blow my mind.

Completely, Utterly... Obsessed with "The North".

Isn't this stunning? To me this looks like a letter... :)

Yup, that's me: Helplessly fascinated with all that's harsh, cold, and stunning. In my mind also called - "The North".

Most recently my fascination led me to research the sunrise and sunset times up in Sveg (where I'll be next week, ya-ay!) compared to what's happening down here. Sounds like those 572 km make quite the difference. How can I be so excited about my daylight getting shorter in the near future?

Here's the stats:

Today's sunrise in Paradise: 8:42
Today's sunrise in Sveg: 9:20

Today's sunset in Paradise: 15:22 (may as well adapt to our way of reading the time)
Today's sunset in Sveg: 14:58

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Good times.

B and I were separated for a couple of hours for the first time in forever yesterday. Felt kind of good, actually. I think it's about time for us to not be Velcro-ed to one another every single minute of every single day. I love him even more with a little bit of time apart... :)

Gotta admit though, that I felt a bit stir-crazy a couple of days ago. It clearly becomes time for me to mingle a bit with people and get myself involved in some work somewhere.

My lil' dating streak is therefore all the more welcome. Yesterday's B and I going-separate-ways-for-a-little was related to such an activity, as was getting groceries (ha! multitasking me, huh?), having Sweet Shoulder company, and making and enjoying an incredible meal. Maybe I should add here that "Sweet Shoulders" comes from up North?? (However, twice as far up north - 1067km from my couch - as what I am visiting... this country is seriously loooooong = endless opportunities for me). Whenever he says "up north" with his Swedish accent I melt a little... --- Had to check his hometown's sunrise and sunset data (I never said I wasn't obsessed, right? Today, they were as follows: Sunrise 9:45; sunset 13:34!). Crazy stuff... but breathe easy, reader: Cause tomorrow is a whopping 5 minutes longer up there... ;)

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So, what's actually happening in Paradise?

Not too much... reading, coffee enjoyment, stuyding svenska (yup, I am aware that this post is in English, hushhh!), walks with the B, enjoying the new groceries, connecting with friends and family via email and chats, and mentally preparing for my business trip to Mr. Moose in 5 (!!) days.

And dreaming about skiing. Look at this beauty, for example... doesn't this slope just scream for some lines??

Actually, it doesn't. It's a pile of pebbles a few kilometers away from the house. Not much riding there.... but tons of dreaming! :)

What if...

This is what I wrote two days ago, late at night. I wanted to publish it, but my elusive wireless decided that I couldn’t.

What if…

… I was really courageous and lived my dream? What would that look like?

It would look something like this:

I would be self-employed and travel Europe in a bus with Buford. We would work for intensive projects here and there that we believe in – focused around youth and their families, sustainability, nature, creativity, expression, and development. We would continue to learn about people and their cultures, the environment, ourselves, and the planet. We would share our experiences, energy, and knowledge through words, photography, and actions. We would focus on our physical and emotional health, authenticity, and connections with others and the environment.

That’s what I’ll work towards. Starting now.

I got everything I need to do that. Right here and now.

I feel free, strong, inspired, and thankful.