* Shitballz! *

I know, I know. Shitballz isn't that nice of a post title. But, what can I say... it's my word of the day. I've been hearing it inside my head ever since I got woken up by a phone call this morning. Shitballz.. shitballz! .... Shitballz. Like a bad song that I cannot get out of my head. And due to my - at least today - lacking coping skills I can simply not come up with another post title. Shitballz... Even now... hours after having diverted a major disaster the word keeps haunting me eerily. Shitballz. Ouch.

It's been a tough day. (He! You wouldn't have imagined when reading that intro, huh?).

The cold who's butt I meant to kick a week ago has returned full force. My body feels like it should be resting (or be caressed ;)...) but instead it has to function. Cause I am moving all my crap single-handedly out of Paradise. And I have 48 hours left. And I have nowhere to go. [Well, I am going to stop for a little at N & N's, but then...? However, I cannot have a cold there... N cannot be around sick people...] Arrrgh!

On days like these it feels particularly disheartening that I am not even sure how and if I'll create an income for myself Up North. After all I happen to be... eh... kinda in mid-leap! *Shitballz!*

The weather has also decided to add some tickle to my day by being intense. Southern Sweden is at warning level 1 in regards to snow. Parts of Sweden are at level 2. Snow is falling like crazy. The good thing about this is that Beefy makes me laugh when he swim/flies through the fluffiness. The bummer came this morning when the folks from Myrorna called to tell me that they couldn't come and pick up my couch, couch seats, TV, DVD player, two tables, and chair. Cause the weather was too crazy. Could they come in a week? ------------ NOOOOO!! I gotta be out of the apartment by Sunday. It's Thursday. I don't even have a car much less a vehicle/trailer that could get the crap elsewhere (and how does ONE Marlies move the stuff out of the apartment?). [This may have been when shitballz made it's way into my life]. They said they were gonna call back. Yuck!

The other problem was that I didn't know if the couches (who I had taken off my neighbors hands only a couple months ago) were 'good enough' to be donated. Aie!

I'll spare you the details... they ended up coming anyways, loved all the stuff, and took it with them. The relief I felt cannot be put in words. I took a picture...:


Donating stuff has never felt so good.

Still, the stress-filled morning makes me once again painfully aware of how intense my adventure is. When all the doubts and fears creep in, I can barely handle it. I feel very lonely at those times.

Today I had to give myself a few minutes of Beefy hugging and letting the tears flow. That helped. [Just now he got himself comfy near my feet, resting his head on my right foot -- aww.]

Can things please get a bit easier sometimes soon?

And can people I send emails or call please return them? [I am talking about business stuff here, so, please, no friend feel offended. Without you I would only be half the person I am.]

Sweet Shoulders is shredding couloirs in Val d'Isere. That makes me smile a little.

+++

I captured beauty though recently. As always, nature is incredibly stable and nurturing and hope-inducing for me.

B & I can now walk on what I skinny-dipped in only a little while ago.

Best canine companion... ever.

OK, one last time: *Shitballz!!!*

That may have done it.

Take care!