Hermit. Vandra. Plan B.

Beef gets towel-dried twice a day. That's another way of saying that it rains all the time. He seems to enjoy it (the towel-drying that is... he is clearly not enjoying the rain - this morning when I opened the door to let him "go potty" he just looked at me and turned around). I am fascinated by how much sand and dirt he carries home after each walk - good thing he does not roll around much... I think I would have to ban him from the house. The white towel turns brown after just one use!!

So, I could write this whole post about B.... but... I wont. However, I will say that I am feeling incredibly blessed to have the little rascal here with me. He's a lifesaver. Truly.

This is what I think about recently:

Becoming a Hermit - I find myself to long for some alone time. Meaning I am getting excited to move out to the countryside. I think this is partially a reaction to not feeling all that welcome here in Sweden. People on the street hardly respond to my "hej"s and even fellow dogowners seem to worry about crossing paths with me and B. Maybe I am feeling rejected and therefore pull back?! Either way, I am planning on counteracting this desire by setting up a few social experiences over the coming days and weeks (see below). Seems healthier for now.

Språkcafe - Träna svenska i vårt språkcafe! Torsdagar 15-17 - Start 17 september. Sista 3 december. I found this ad in the Norrköping bibliotek and it makes me happy. It has been difficult for me so far to find places to practice speaking svenska. Will be socially courageous next Thursday and mingle. Until then I will continue learning with my friends Komvux (free online course) and Podcast. Wouldn't mind replacing them... even though we have gotten closer recently.

Job, language, et al needed for Tilstånd - I am still powerthinking (meaning thinking about it non-stop) about my situation here. The meeting I mentioned in my last post is still triggering me. I wish I could let go of some of this stuff sooner than later. Here is what I have come up with: I will ask them to hire me and the woman that was chosen to be the clinical director beginning December. I will let them know that if they are unwilling/unable to do so that I am seriously questioning their intention to start the program in late January. Additionally, I will ask them to support me in my Swedish-learning attempts. When we first started to talk about me coming to Sweden I was told that there were free Swedish classes here that I could enrol in as soon as I arrived. Reality is that I cannot even apply for those classes unless I have tilstånd, which I can only get when I have a job... or a ton of money... or am a student (see below). The other part of reality is that I am only half the person I can be in my future job if I do not speak the local language. So, objectively seen I think they should help me a) get into classes without tilstånd or b) help me, e.g. finance, Swedish classes for me. I wonder what they will say - mostly because I think that if they make empty promises once again that I'll have to seriously make up a Plan B. Kinda scary, kinda exciting!

Vandra på Sörmlandsleden - So, should we actually start our program we may have a non-ideal use area to start with. Non-ideal because it is somewhat small and close to people. In my mind possible though because the Sörmlandsleden goes past it. I am fascinated with the Sörmlandsleden. It's kinda like the Pacific Coast Trail of Southern Sweden. I believe that it would behoove me to go check the trail out before we bring clients there. Accordingly, I am studying maps and am planning to bring up the idea to go do a trip on the trail to test it this coming month. It happens to go by my future home. There are shelters along it. I call that sweet! Wanna come?

Plan B - Even though I am not there yet (and I d'rather just have a job with FT), I am future tripping a little. I do not think that I wanna do the Solo business until I know Sweden better. My gut is simply not interested in it right now. And I listen to my gut. My gut wants to go up north. Far north. Find a job that makes B and I happy. Live in a house with a wood stove. Get a masters degree (one of my few friends here suggested that yesterday... not the MS, but studying. Fact is that I could stay here easier if I studied. And studying is free. Plus if I studied I would be forced to learn Swedish well at an academic level. And I may make connections and actually tie myself enough into the Swedish landscape to feel comfortable starting something of my own). Whoops. Sounds not bad... gut: check? - Check. We shall see.

Buford - I know, I said I wasn't going to write a whole entry about him. And I am not (writing a whole entry about him). But I am thinking about him. A lot. I haven't mentioned it on here but early on when we arrived here B was a little off. More scared than he usually is. A nervous butt. That can be dangerous for a dog. He actually growl-snarled at one of the girls that pet him when we met the group last weekend. In response I am spending a lot of time working with him. And surveying the scene. So I can be aware of his fears. And gently nudge him through tricky spots. So he will be more confident again. And more safe. For these reasons it is very important to me that the move to our new place will be positive for him. While he always seemed fine with our frequent moves I think that it will be good for him to feel stable somewhere. I think he's doing better already - yesterday we went for a walk with a friend and were then invited over to dinner (Beef got food too). The couple was very sweet with him and acted very dog-friendly. And, of course, he was the B I love. It feels good to talk with d0g-people about him. They understand. We will keep working on it. And keep you updated.

Boxes - I can barely wait to get my boxes. The boxes I packed in June. And brought to a warehouse in Portland Oregon. Whose trip across the ocean I supervised closely via the tracking method the shipping company gave me. And finally picked up the day before I returned to the US. Those boxes are now in Patrick's shed. Waiting for my moving day. November 1. That's when I will move them to my new home and unpack them. It will be a party. A private one. Only B is invited.


Puhhh...! That's one part of the zoo that is going on in my head. Good thing I don't have a job - I wouldn't have time to focus on it, huh? I think I'll end here.... for now. And hope to experience a blue-skied day sometimes soon. Like, when I took that photo down there about ten days ago.

Hope I am not the only one who has enough time on her hands to take three hours a day to walk a dog and ponder...